Alhamdulilah, Im Pregnant.

1:30:00 PM

Hallo !

At the end of the day, i decided something about this blog. (like its so important ! :p)

After a very very long break, i decided to just write what i want in time. No schedule, no timeline. So expect the time jump when you scroll down my blog okay? Haha

Actually what i really want to write is about a huge turning point in my life, which is...married. But since another turning point is hit me, i find my self more likely to write about this first. And its about....pregnancy.

I’m 7 and half months pregnant people !!
So...whats up about that?
Okay...i actually want this baby ever since I get married, thats why i started to drink Prenagen Emesis and stoped chemical skin care product. Why in a rush? Nothing actually, just like marriage, i just could find a reason to delay it. But as a bonus, in my working fields, moving one to another city is so common. Thats why...right now, when we’re living in the same house, and close to my parents and feels like a perfect time to have a baby.

But yet again, it’s a human plan. At my first period its like “babe, its not this month” and we’re smiling then go hiking. Second period, “Babe...not this month too” still smiling. Third period “Im sorry, but im still not pregnant” and i was crying. I dont know its in between sad and afraid. So many what if ringing in my head.

One day, a huge thing happen, not pregnant yet. Something happen and remind me why God’s plan is always better, turn out that im not mentally ready for it. Me and my crying baby habits are not ready to handle a big responsibiity. After that...i just let God decide for everything, still trying but no more high expectation. A big salute to my husband who did so many research and applying a healthy lifestyle while all i did was just...eating bean sprouts, drinking avocado juice, running once a week, taking vit A and saying yes when my husband took me out for some refreshing in Bogor.

Well..Every woman knows when she had PMS means that soon..she’s going to get periods. So when i felt cramps in my belly, i cried and said “hon, i dont think im pregnant.” He hugged me and saying so many wise thing like..”maybe we should date again” or “maybe we still have to prepare things”. Though i said i’ve done having high expectation but when periods hit again..i cant help being sad and afraid. Afraid that i have to wait three years like my mom, afraid that maybe somethings wrong with me (tho i did pre-marriage test, this kind of thought still exist !), know, PMS can really make everything seems worst.

And one office held a costum day. Every woman dressed in kebaya to celebrate Indonesian Independence day. I was so excited that i even went to some kebaya rental in search for a perfect one. But when i woke up in the morning, everything seems so wrong. I feel sick and couldn’t go to the office. 

When i went to the doctor he said that i need to take a lab if after three days my fever dont go away. He’s afraid that I’m might be having DBD or typhus. On the third day I actually felt so much better so we went to Cianjur for some one-day trip as my husband’s sister, Prina, came to visit us. 

On the next day, My husband insist on having me checked up again, but since Prina got sick. I went to the doctor and to the lab alone. So..when the lab officer told me.  “Bu ngga tipes kok, hamil malah”..i just sat there freezing…and crying alone too. It felt so unreal, so….dreamlike. Some lab officer and visitor then congratulated me and saying “Duh, jadi ikut terharu”

My heart beating so hard as I drove to see my husband. He asked me “whats wrong?” when he saw me that weirdly in rush.

“ Mas, im pregnant”.

And we’re hugged each other on emergency room, like there’s no nurse or doctor around. Sometimes they said it right, the whole world is gone when you’re in love.


Yes, even before everything else happen, we’re already in love with this child.

P.S. Story about my preganancy will be posted soon !


I rearrage the timeline.
thi post originally written at february, 25th 2016

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